Tiger Mommying

Originally posted at The Way of the Rose 54-Day Novena Facebook group August 21, 2020

Novena Day 9

The Glorious Mysteries

There was a really popular book by Amy Chua called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother that came out in 2011. It was about a strict, disciplinarian form of parenting that was supposed to result in kids who graduate from Harvard and Yale.

This is not that. It may even be the opposite of that.

This is about another recent theme in popular culture, inter-species mothering. A particularly vivid (and adorable) example caught my eye this past week, a tiger who adopted piglets. The story that went with the pictures was made up, apparently (which is a good reminder that people make up all kinds of things for attention, even good things), but the tiger did nurse the piglets and treat them like her family.

I think the reason this theme is so popular is that people are moved by the idea of animals driven to take care of other animals, especially when those animals traditionally do not get along in the wild, like the lioness that nurtured a leopard cub, or the dogs that nurse kittens.

When I was growing up, we learned that cats and dogs don’t get along. As a result, I am constantly surprised by the close dog–cat friendships chronicled on social media. I thought that sort of thing was unusual and only possible if both animals are very young when they meet.

The disjunct between my beliefs and reality makes me wonder if such inter-species friendships and parenting were always so common, and I just didn’t know about it. Or are they increasing in prevalence? I don’t suppose there’s any way to know for sure, but I like the idea that they are increasing, that even animals are become aware that the world needs more mothering and nurturing and are heeding the call.

But it can be just as reassuring, if not more, to know the key to saving our planet has been built into us all along, we just didn’t notice. We’ve been so focused on the idea of competition for scarce resources being the primary driver behind evolution that such behavior could only be considered an anomaly. But as evolutionary biologist Lynn Margulis pointed out, we had completely missed the larger factor in front of our faces, cooperation. If cells did nothing but compete from the start, there would be no such thing as a complex organism. A neo-Darwinist once asked her why she had to ruin his beautiful theory by adding symbiosis. She just laughed and said, “Because it’s there.” And now it seems obvious, doesn’t it?

The mothering impulse is a powerful one. Mothers like me, who have lost infants soon after birth, know how overwhelming the urge is to nurture, and those who get a chance to nurture other beings or children usually heal faster and more completely than those who don’t.

Yesterday I talked about how learning to live in a state of grace may be the key to our heart’s desire, and how that has to involve receiving grace from the Divine Mother and extending it to others. Isn’t that exactly what these animals are doing? That’s why their actions are so moving. What could be a purer expression of Mary’s grace than mothering any youngster in need?

Note, that not all the “mothers” I’ve been talking about are literal mothers. In fact, many of the nurturers are male. Mothering isn’t about bearing children, or even being female. It’s about aligning our hearts with the Divine Mother, receiving her love, then turning around and paying that love forward.

“Tiger mommying,” the key to keeping the flow going and healing ourselves, each other, and the world.

This ends my stint as your novena guide. It has been an honor and a privilege.